This blog is in partnership and sponsored by Aptamil Toddler..
Back before I was a mum I wanted 5 or 6 kids, because you know, how FUN would that be! All the kids would be best friends and when they were grown we would get together every Sunday with their extended families and have dinner together, the grand kids would all be born around the same time so they too would grow up together and repeat the process..
Yes, I was blissfully unaware that real life wasn’t just a carbon copy of an episode of Parenthood… (great show by the way)
One thing I was sure of, however, was that I wanted to be a mum.
And now here I am, a mum of 3.. One of the most common questions I get is “how did I find the transition from 2-3 kids” and the short answer is… as best I could!
I remember back when we were living a life as a party of 4, just hubby, myself and the two girls, who I have come to realise in the past 2 years, were pretty much the perfect children. Two adults and 2 children, as it were, was quite effortless and I mean it’s basic maths right, the parent to child ratio is 1:1 so everyone is always looked out for.
That’s what scared me the most about adding a 3rd to the mix, I remember saying to my husband when we were in Bali on a family holiday as I had baby Harlow in the baby carrier and Aldo was holding Viennas hand, as we walked the busy streets of Seminyak. “If we have a third kid who is holding that one and still keeping the oldest one safe” I couldn’t get my head around how that would work.
When you have your first baby, yes it is daunting and scary at times but it’s just the one. I had my struggles as a new mum, after a horrific birth and a long recovery but it was just the one baby I had to focus on. We were 2 parents and 1 tiny baby. So when that one tiny baby sleeps there is no one else who needs any attention. All your focus and energy is on that one baby. Easy peasy hahaha
Bring in baby number 2. At the time it feels like you won’t be able to love another child as much as you love the first let alone feed, bath and ultimately keep them both alive at the same time and oh my goodness how in the world will I leave the house with 2 kids!!! But you just do right? I know for me, I was surprised at how easy our transition from 1-2 was. Vienna was 2yrs 9months when Harlow was born. She was very independant, potty trained, slept through the night and an absolute all round delight 🙂 She transitioned so well into being a big sister and I believe that her relationship with hubby had a huge role in that.
The 3rd did not slot right in…
At least for us he didn’t.. I remember being really apprehensive about a 3rd baby because I mean, How will I spread myself across all three children? How do I make sure that all 3 are happy at the same time? How will I ever leave the house again? and most importantly What car will fit 3 carseats?
From the minute I fell pregnant with Avery it was a struggle. I was extremely sick for the first 28 weeks which really threw me under the bus. I hadn’t experienced any sickness while pregnant with the girls, so I wasn’t sure how to handle it, look after myself and look after 2 girls, who up until this point had me all to themselves. Baby #3 wasn’t even here yet and I felt the dynamic changing.
Experiences vary from family to family, of course, however, for us the uncertainty of how life with 3 would play out somedays outweighed the joy and excitement of welcoming a 3rd bundle of joy into the world.
I worried about the girls and how their relationship would be effected, I thought about the “middle child syndrome” that so many people felt the need to mention when they found out about our pregnancy… However, baby 3 was coming so we closed our eyes and hoped for the best haha
1 baby, 2 baby 3 OH MY!
Welcome, Baby #3 Avery Wolf.
The labour was amazing, I felt empowered and so so proud of myself. Here was this beautiful baby boy meeting his older sisters for the first time and life looked pretty perfect.
The transition from 2-3 seemed somewhat easy for the girls. They both took to their roles as big sisters and mum’s new helpers, so well. The age gap between the 3 helped I believe, Vienna was 7 and Harlow was 4 when Avery arrived so they were both eager to play mum and thrived on the praise they got when they helped me with baby. We were blessed with those girls I tell ya.
For mum however, I found the transition A LOT more difficult. Crying baby, tongue ties, sleepless nights, worrying about how much weight baby was putting on, PLUS, school for Vienna, kinder for Harlow, giving both of them the attention they needed and deserved and all the while trying to find myself again so I could be the best mum to ALL 3 kids and somewhat of a wife to hubby…
Those days when I had Avery on the boob trying to fill his belly, Harlow in the toilet calling out “mum can you wipe my bum”, Vienna in the other room making some kind of messy creation “mum look, mummm come look what I made” hubby at work, the kitchen a mess with dishes from gods knows when, my hair in desperate need of a wash and blow dry and my mind thinking back to how EASY is was with 1 child..
It was a lot, I struggled with it, more than I thought I would to be perfectly honest. However, I was lucky to have my husband who was with me every step of the way and our two girls who we watched become independent young women before our eyes. Their resilience made it easier on us as parents and as a whole family. Vienna said only the other day, “if I had a dollar for every time I have gone and got a nappy for you mum” to which I replied, “I couldn’t have done it without you baby girl”
2 years on, I can say with a full heart, that even through the struggles and uncertainties I wouldn’t change anything at all. Our family of 5 is more than we could have ever dreamed.
I wonder what 3-4 would feel like……. #nothankyou
For more information on parenting, building resilience in children visit Parents’ Corner